Clinton, MS

On Monday our lovely hosts from Oxford drove us down to Jackson. We hung out at a local coffeeshop until our friend Jonathan could come pick us up in his truck.

Our first night at Mississippi College felt surreal at first - this is another place I've been before when I was on the Equality Ride. So the last time I was here, I was looking at the campus from the property line and could go no further. But now I was free to walk around, to eat in the cafe, to sit in the quad.

But I must confess I found myself looking over my shoulder quite a bit.

And if I felt worried or concerned, I know the queer students and their allies on campus carry that burden in their daily life as well. MC's student handbook states that "sexual impropriety" is not allowed, and suggests that this "includes but is not limited to participation in or appearance of engaging in premarital sex, extramarital sex, or homosexual activities." This really leaves one wondering what exactly a homosexual activity could be defined as by the administration.

Would I be in trouble for holding hands with someone of the same gender? For coming out to my roommate? For having a rainbow bumper sticker on my car? For simply questioning the policy as an ally?

And what would the consequences be? Would I pay a fine? Be assigned community service? Lose my scholarship? Get kicked out?

The ambiguity of this and similar policies creates an atmosphere of fear. Not having any of this defined means that students must assume they could be disciplined for anything having to do with queer identity or issues, and that the consequences could be severe. Which is the risk MC students must decide whether they are willing to take any time they engage in a conversation with someone about these things. In fact, there's even a new addition to the handbook this year that requires all flyers posted on campus to receive a literal stamp of approval by the administration after the underground Gay Straight Alliance posted flyers last spring.

In spite of all of this, however, we had some great conversations with students who are ready to take a calculated stand with our help.

Late Tuesday night, some of those students joined us as we chalked messages all over campus - taking the acronym LGBT and adding our own twist with words like "Loving Giving Believing Trusting" and then including the Sanctuary Collective website url underneath. We figured this would get the attention of anyone who knew what the acronym usually stood for, while being ambiguous enough to not raise the alarm to folks who aren't in the know. On the front page of our website here, we posted a time and place to meet off campus on Wednesday evening.

Once Wednesday rolled around, we met at Cliff Johnson's house - a lawyer and MC alum who opens his home for a safe place for MC students to meet. Students and supporters from the Jackson area joined us as we talked about how Sanctuary Collective might be able to support their efforts, and how the local organizations might also be able to lend a hand. I know I left the meeting energized and excited to see what happens next at MC, and I think the others who were there were feeling that too.

I really can't wait until we have our first class for our Discipleship Program, and I certainly hope to see some applications from Mississippi College students! Let's do this, friends.

Oxford

On Friday afternoon, our friends Reverend Tim and Sonia from Holy Trinity in Memphis drove us down to Oxford.

We met our host Anjel on campus at Ole Miss, and soon were introduced to Gail Stratton, a biology professor who sponsors the Gay-Straight Alliance on campus. We sat in her office and talked about our trip so far. It was great to sit down and reflect on everything we've experienced thus far.

After a while, Anjel's boyfriend Puppy came to pick us up, and we went back to their place to relax for a little while before heading out to meet with some folks from the GSA.

The Oxford PFLAG donated some pizzas for us to eat as we talked, and the topics of our conversation ranged from the serious to the hilarious. We talked about ex-gay programs, coming out to our families, the importance of faith-based organizing, gender, school, graphic novels, and almost everything else imaginable. We talked for hours. Afterwards, we were enjoying each other's company so much we decided to go on an impromptu roadtrip of sorts to Graceland Too.

Graceland Too is one man's exhaustive collection of Elvis memorabilia, which he displays in his house in Holly Springs, MS. Patrons can visit any hour of the day or night, and he will give a tour of his floor to ceiling (and including the ceiling) accumulation of records, collector's cards, cardboard cut-outs, and items that reportedly once belonged to Elvis. We were sadly unable to film inside the house, but I can promise you - it was quite an experience.

On Saturday, we met Jason, who studies spiders at Ole Miss (that is probably a massive oversimplification), and Puppy cooked some delicious brocolli alfredo for all of us. After dinner, we took a walk to William Faulkner's house, which is right in Oxford. It was cool to see the property at night under a full moon.

Sunday morning we went to the Unitarian Universalist congregation and met with the lovely folks there. They were supportive and kind, and we enjoyed our time there.

In the evening, we hung out with two of the folks from the GSA again. We went out for Mexican food, and then went back to their place for more conversation and hanging out. They were also really excited to connect with the other folks we're going to meet along our route to share resources. It was a great way to end our time in Oxford, and I'm really looking forward to staying in touch with all the wonderful people we met.

Mississippi College?

Are you here from MC?

Take a look around, and if you'd like to meet with Micah and Roman face to face, come meet us on Wednesday October 7th at 7:50 pm at the CUPS parking lot.

We'll go to a comfortable place to talk and hang out from there.

While you're here on the site, check out our getting started section on our front page. You might also want to check out the other entries on our blog. And since it's always great to put a face to names, check out our page on who's behind all this. Spend some time, do some research, poke around - that's why we've got the site up, after all!

And as always, feel free to contact us: info@sanctuarycollective.org, or 646-571-8266.

We'd love to meet you, to talk about where we're all coming from, and to hear your story. Hope we get to see you!

Collective Stories: Marie MacIntyre

One of our prayer team members, Marie MacIntyre, sent us this note:

Hi Everyone! I used your Daily Common Prayer in our call to worship today at Alpha Mennonite Church.

Oct. 11 is PinkMenno Day at our church and we will wear pink to show our support for our LGBT brothers and sisters. We could use your prayers that day and will continue to pray for you.

In the love of Christ, 
Marie

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly LOVED, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Col.3:12

Some of us say the Sanctuary Collective Daily Common Prayer together at Thursday community nights, a member of our prayer team says it every day, and some of us include it as part of our regular prayer life.  I am comforted to know that a body of people hold in me in their thoughts and prayers and hold LGBTQ young adults around the country--some they do not know--in prayer and thought.

I invite you to read the daily common prayer and try it in your life or the life of your community.  If you're already using it, please let us know so that we can think of you as well!

Memphis

There's so much I'm taking away from Memphis.

We set out on Tuesday morning from Little Rock, without a ride. For the first time ever, I hitchhiked. I knew that might be a possibility for this trip at some point, so like the nerdy kid I am, I had done some extensive googling for tips and safety. We got a lift from Patrick, who drives an 18-wheeler. During the two hour trip, we talked about cars, girlfriends, and what it was like to be a truck driver. Patrick is from Ontario, and his route takes him all the way down to the Texas/Mexico border delivering hazardous materials. He was heading back to Canada when he picked us up, and he dropped us off at the second exit ramp once we crossed the Mississippi River.

Once we got into the city and had some other adventures involving not knowing which bus to take, and finding ourselves having some intense interactions outside the city jail, we ended up at our destination: the Pilgrim House - a hostel run by First Congregational Church. We met the amazing folks who work there, including Jen, who has the reference Micah 6:8 tattooed on her foot (for those not in the know, I have "do justice" on my wrist, "love mercy" on my chest, and "walk humbly" on my foot)!

At Pilgrim House, the fee to stay there is fairly nominal, and guests complete daily chores as part of their stay. I am a fan of that arrangement! I will gladly sweep the floor in exchange for a $15 sleep on a bed with a mattress and pillows and sheets and blankets. If you're ever traveling through Memphis, I definitely recommend Pilgrim House.

On Wednesday, we slept in and had an early lunch with Reverend Tim and Sonia from Holy Trinity Community Church. They took us to a place with barbecue tofu so Roman could experience Memphis barbecue without compromising his vegetarian diet, and then Reverend Tim played the role of tour guide for the rest of our afternoon. Our first stop was one of the churches that used to house Love in Action (WARNING: not a friendly site!), a residential ex-gay program that our friend Peterson survived going through. A new congregation uses the building now, and they have erected a gigantic replica of the statue of liberty - only instead of a torch, she holds a cross, and her base is inscribed with "America Return to Christ." This struck me as unsettling both as a citizen of the U.S. and as a Christian. I would much rather keep politics out of my worship, and vice versa.

We dropped Sonia back off at Holy Trinity, and then we took a trip to the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot on April 4, 1968. While we were there, we met Jackie, who was the last resident of the motel before they changed it from low-income housing into a museum. Jackie has stayed put for almost 22 years - speaking to people about the legacy of Dr. King, and keeping an everlasting vigil, asking why the very people King dedicated his life to serving are now being displaced by this museum. After an involved conversation about her convictions, I asked her if she would mind us taking her picture for our blog. She asked what the site was about, and I told her. Her take on the LGBTQ movement as an outsider was that we should not try to set ourselves apart from everyone else by labeling ourselves, and that we should give back to the community first and foremost. I usually engage people in dialogue about why I might disagree, but I decided to swallow my quick response, to recognize the places where our views overlap, and to allow myself to sit with her perspective.

In fact, I agree with Jackie in this: the LGBTQ community has hurt ourselves by breaking away from our roots. In the beginning, the movement for LGBTQ equality was concerned with the rights of other oppressed people groups in our society. Our philosophical foremothers joined forces with other movements, but looking at us today you might never know. We've become so fragmented, so concerned with being accepted that those of us who don't fit the mold of what society finds nonthreatening watch the things that concern us drop off the to-do list, and the movement becomes about the needs and desires of the few of us who do fit the standard American mainstream but for the oh so small fact that we are attracted to folks of the same gender. Giving back to the rest of the community in tangible ways - making human connections - would do a great deal more for the public opinion of our community than choosing a face to represent us that someone somewhere thinks the rest of America will be able to relate to.

But here's where I disagree: as a transgender man, I don't set myself apart from everyone by labeling myself. I've already been set apart, and not by my choosing. My friends and comrades have been kicked out of their homes, fired from their jobs, rejected by their families, and ripped out of fellowship because of who they are. By claiming the label of transgender, and wearing it openly wherever I feel safe enough to do so, I'm not asking for anything special. I simply want what we all want - to be treated fairly, with dignity and respect. By claiming that label, I'm asserting that if I make people uncomfortable, it is because they must work through their own biases, assumptions, and beliefs in order to reconcile the idea that a person they think they should reject reads comic books, laughs a little too loudly, and loves Jesus.

Jackie didn't end up letting us take her picture, which is fine. I gave her our website, and I am trusting that as someone who's concerned with social justice, she'll sit with our conversation as well. I know I've been mulling it all over since then, and I'll continue to do so.

We also spent some time at the Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center, which was fairly close to the Pilgrim House. We met some of the youth there, spent some time talking with the volunteers and the executive director, as well as a group that meets and discusses Christian issues for the LGBT community. Recently the Memphis Center has made the news because one of their billboards in Memphis has been defaced.

On Wednesday and Thursday nights, we hung out at Dru's Place, a new bar in Memphis owned by two of the members of Holy Trinity. They were wonderful and welcoming, and bought us drinks and food, and offered to set out a place to take donations for us. We also had some really interesting conversations about what it means to be transgender. I'm not sure if it's easier or harder to have that conversation after all the parties involved have had a couple of drinks. As we were getting ready to leave, though, Dru (who the bar is named after, of course) gave me a leather bracelet. In the center, there are the bones of a fish. She told me she wanted me to have it because it was a "naked Jesus fish," and I am baring myself and making myself vulnerable to the world because of my faith.

I'll keep wearing the bracelet, and keep remembering the amazing people and conversations we encountered in Memphis.