Northeast Regional Conference Postponed

Hello lovely friends and supporters:

Several different circumstances over the past few weeks have led the Leadership Team of Sanctuary Collective to the decision to postpone our conference we were originally planning for this weekend.

We want our first regional gathering to be all that we have dreamed it can be, and are excited to reschedule for this fall with the same exciting workshops and more! We want to wholeheartedly thank you for your support, and will keep you updated as soon as we have a new date. Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience, and join us in planning and getting excited for a conference that will be so much better than it would have been if we had tried to push forward for our original date.

In the meantime, we'd love to keep actively engaging with you, so here are some ways to make that happen!

• Join our Prayer Team! Email Matt Beams at matthew@sanctuarycollective.org for more info
• Contribute resources! We're always looking for prayers, sermons, Bible studies, and personal narratives to share on our website. Emailbrian@sanctuarycollective.org for more info and/or to submit your work!
• Join our online conversation! We'd love to have guest blog posts and/or guest video bloggers on our YouTube channel. Email me back atmicah@sanctuarycollective.org for this.

And finally, we are committed to this upcoming fall conference being all that we have envisioned and planned for together and more. If you have ideas or feedback about this, or want to talk more, please don't hesitate to send an email reply or give us a call at 646-571-8266.

Your patience and understanding in this process is invaluable. We could not do any of this without you.

Trans Day of Action

This afternoon, at 4 pm, we will be participating in the 6th annual Trans Day of Action in New York City.

We'll meet at City Hall in Manhattan, and we will march.

We will march because we can't sit still. We will march because we can't stay silent. 

We will march because corporate sponsored Pride events don't help you when you're excluded from them.

We will march because our culture at best does not bat an eye, and at worst condones and makes a spectacle when one of our sisters fall to violence. We will march because we are survivors of violence.

We will march because our lives are beautiful, fabulous, fierce, creative. We will march because we do not only mourn, we also laugh, and are loved.

We will march.

Will you march too?

On Family

This weekend, I said goodbye to my brother as he left to go back to Chicago after staying with me for three weeks here in Brooklyn.

It was absolutely marvelous to have him here as he took classes in Manhattan to become certified to teach English as a second language. We cooked familar dishes, watched cartoons, and drank and talked late into the night about whatever came to mind. He also got to see me interact with my other family - queer and trans folks taking care of each other.

During the time he was here, we hosted a baby shower for our friends (who should be having a baby any day now!), had a young trans guy from Canada crash on our couch for a few days, sent Leo and Brian out to Michigan to film and had them come back again, and continued to have Thursday night Community Nights for Sanctuary Collective. It was very special to me to have a member of my family of origin interact with my chosen family. And it got me thinking about how important all of you are to me.

My family is not just local - I love knowing a good handful of the people who comment on progressive Christian blogs patiently and angrily when racist or heterosexist stuff gets said, or recognizing the names in press releases about direct actions or campaigns. Sure, sometimes it feels like there is only a small handful of us doing this work, but it can also be so nice to get on gchat with someone across the country to debrief our reactions before formulating responses.

Thank you, all of you, for the big and small things you do every day to challenge and change the world. And thank you for supporting me while I do the same.

Refuge Needs Your Help!

To recap the situation: Refuge is the LGBTQ and ally students' safe space at Eastern University, a Christian college outside of Philadelphia. Last month, the student government voted almost unanimously for Refuge to be recognized, the administration didn't feel comfortable with that decision, and formed a committee basically to determine whether to uphold the students' decision. Refuge leadership went before this committee yesterday, and it did not go well.

So now they're asking folks to write letters in support of Refuge's place on campus (from anyone and everyone - yes, you!), and send them to either Bettie Ann Brigham or Daryl Hawkins in student development at 1300 Eagle Road, St Davids, PA 19087 - the sooner the better!

Please help if you can - it's so important for students to have this safe space on campus to be their authentic selves.

Making History

On Monday morning this week, the Student Government at Eastern University voted for Refuge to become an official, school-sanctioned club on campus.

The vote was 11 Yes, ZERO No, and 4 Abstained.

As I've written before, I personally have a lot invested in the success of Refuge, and I am so very proud of the students Sanctuary Collective has been supporting there. They're celebrating their success tonight, and it's a well-deserved celebration!

My alma mater is one step closer to being a safe place for LGBTQ people to study and thrive in community. Take heart from your successes, friends, and keep up the good work.

Sanctuary Collective and the 2010 Equality Ride

The Soulforce Equality Ride is a somewhat annual bus trip involving 20 to 30 young people who make the decision to put their lives on hold for two months to travel across the country to colleges and universities that have policies or atmospheres that make it difficult or impossible to be out as queer or trans - or in some cases even as an ally. They travel to start dialogue with students and administration about how harmful and devistating these policies can be.

In January, right before our own Discipleship Program Gathering, Brian and I travelled down to Austin, Texas to help train the 2010 Riders on what the Bible has to say about justice, specifically for queer and trans folks. And last weekend I made the shorter journey down to Philadelphia to be with the Riders at their first stop at Valley Forge Christian College.

As I spent time with the Riders and had conversations both on the bus and out in the community of Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, I reflected on the reasons why I think it's important for us at Sanctuary Collective to support and work with the Equality Ride.

First, and as a full disclosure, several of us on the Sanctuary Collective Leadership and Support Teams first met each other through participating on the Equality Ride ourselves. It's where I had my first experiences working for social justice on a broader scale, and also where I first had the support I needed to begin coming to terms with my identity as a trans man. In short, I support the Equality Ride because of the way it affects those who participate in it.

Second, I support the Equality Ride because of the conversations it inspires. Four years after the first Ride stopped at my alma mater, Eastern University, people are still talking about it. That's an awfully long conversation for a community where most of the people who were there at the time are now gone.

The final reason is perhaps more practical. It's important for us to partner with the Equality Ride because they are able to come in contact with people that Sanctuary Collective can not yet reach. As they travel, the Riders will come in contact with students and young people who are excited to work in their communities for LGBTQ justice. And the Riders will be able to pass along our website and our contact information so that they can receive the support they need as they do this important work.

I hope you'll join me in getting excited as those emails and phone calls start coming in!

February 2010 Update

Here's what's been going on with Sanctuary Collective during the month of February!

This month was our first round of regularly scheduled blogs! We've had updates from our Discipleship Program participants as well as Sanctuary Collective staff. Here's a sampling:

Matt's post: Some thoughts on Prayer, and a Challenge for you
...I'm not talking about a quick Pater Noster as I brush my teeth, I'm talking about some quiet reflective time where I talk to God, with God, or at God followed by some time listening.

MarySue's post from Mississippi College
My immediate goal is to help create a safer atmosphere on campus by engaging in dialogue with other students on campus about the issues LGBTQ students face as well as continuing to foster safe community within our QSA.

Micah's post: The Things that Sustain Us
There's just something about sitting down over coffee and laughing about being afraid that the rapture had happened anytime I walked into an empty room as a child that is so therapeutic for me.

Delfin's post from Yale Divinity
Though the journey is just beginning, I am able to embrace and be Queer, American, Cuban, El Salvadoran, Catholic, Spanglish, catholic, Ecumenical, Mujerista, Eccentric, Imperfect, Curvaceous, and share a distinct quirky laugh that the world either likes or doesn’t like.

Emily's post from Hope College
All too often, the struggle for human rights feels like war to me, attacking or defending.  But who am I fighting? I label this person with words like “conservative,” “fundamentalist” or “close-minded.”  Recently, I have been invited to rethink this approach.

Brian's post on What We're Reading
If you're looking for a few good reads, check these out and then share your thoughts with us! 

We've also been busy this month connecting our Discipleship Program participants with some amazing mentors. Each participant gave us some guidelines of what qualities would be helpful in a potential mentor, and we've been working from those to make sure each person gets to be in communication with someone who will be a good fit for them. As of now, we're still looking for someone with a strong background of working with the intersection of sexuality within faith communities and communities of color. If you know someone who fits the bill, pass their information along - it would be really helpful!

Finally, it is our hope to be able to support a full-time staff member in 2010 so that we can continue to support our current participants, as well as to seek out new and innovative ways to support young folks organizing for LGBTQ justice in Christian communities. But we can't do this without your help. Please consider donating monthly so we can make this a reality. Any monthly contribute--whether $5 or $50--will go a long way to creating sustainable movements for justice.  If you can't commit to monthly giving, will you give $7 today. We honor and appreciate any gift you are able to provide - including and especially the gift of taking the time to spread the word! Will you tell four friends about what we are doing and the need for their financial support?

Love & Peace,
Micah 

The Things That Sustain Us

As I am settling more into the reality of making Sanctuary Collective a large part of my daily life, I'm finding it important to seek out things that sustain me.

One of those things that gives me a lot of energy and push is talking with other queer and trans folks about their experiences growing up in similar faith traditions, and their subsequent experiences processing and/or reclaiming that faith.

There's just something about sitting down over coffee and laughing about being afraid that the rapture had happened anytime I walked into an empty room as a child that is so therapeutic for me. After the conversations sometimes I find it difficult to even remember the details, I just walk away feeling tired and refreshed.

I remember the first person I talked to that I felt really Got It. His name is Angel, and he's now one of my good friends (and on the Sanctuary Collective Prayer Team!). When I first met him, honestly, I was a bit wary. I was a clean-cut Christian school kid, and he had lots of visible tattoos and piercings. I was silently struggling with my gender, and he was the first openly trans masculine person I'd ever met. I was nervous and skeptical. But when he opened his mouth, and I heard that all-too-familiar and comforting North Carolina accent (the northeast often feels a long way from home for me), and heard him talking about how much he loves Jesus, I was floored. I clung to that sense of sameness that I felt with him, and started myself down the long journey of figuring out what I wanted to do about my own gender identity.

The next person I felt that sense with was Peterson (who has written down some amazing and profound thoughts about Lazarus for us). I first met Peterson face to face at a training, but I was familiar with him before that through a documentary called Fish Can't Fly. The documentary was the first one I'd watched about LGBTQ Christians, and while I was watching it, I met other queer folks from Eastern for the very first time. So I was kind of starstruck, actually - Peterson was (and is!) A Big Deal in my world. I was in a really fragile place at the time - coming to terms with my identity was proving to be a long and arduous process - and when I heard Peterson speaking about his experiences with faith, I knew he Got It. The language he used and the ways he explained things were familiar and comforting to me, and something inside me exhaled for the very first time.

These experiences (and many more like them) are essentially why I do the work that I do, and why I do it in this way. I have these conversations because I need to have them. I share what I've gone through because it's an experience too many other people like me can relate to. I talk about how it's possible to keep your Christian faith and be excited about who God has created you to be because I need to be reminded.

And in the process, other people's tears and other people's laughter are validating to me. They give me permission to say that this has been hard and that this has been ridiculous. They sustain me.

What sustains you? How can you make sure you have that in your work and in your life? It's not a rhetorical question - I want to know! Share with me and each other in the comments if you'd like.

Eastern University

On Wednesday, December 2, I returned to where it all began for me.

Eastern University in St Davids, PA is a small Christian college outside of Philadelphia, and is also my alma mater.

At the end of 2005, finally beginning to come to peace with my own identity and with the help of friends and supportive faculty, we started a Gay-Straight Alliance on Eastern's campus. We called it Refuge, and our presence sparked columns in the Waltonian (the school newspaper), meetings with deans, defaced flyers, and a new energy and safe space for conversations around LGBTQ identity. The latter things continued to far outweigh the former, and four years later, they are still going strong.

Last week, I went back to speak to the group of students who are currently there working to be an officially student-government sanctioned group - about how and why Refuge got started, as well as the exciting things we have planned with Sanctuary Collective. It was so energizing to see an almost entirely different set of people excited about the same things we were when we first started. Young people like these will change the way Christ-followers interact with their LGBTQ peers, and I feel blessed to see it as it's happening.

Eastern is a school that focuses a lot on Christian community and social justice, and I have high hopes to see the school that encouraged me to see the world through a new lens become an environment that is explicitly a safe place for LGBTQ people to live and thrive.

Let's make it happen!

Atlanta and Columbia

Our friend Steve drove us the three to Atlanta from Birmingham after his evening shift at work. We arrived at about 2 am (after which Steve had to turn around and drive back - what a good friend!) at Carly's apartment. Carly and Roman went to college together, and it was great to see them reconnect. All of the folks we had stayed with and hung out with up until that point were people I knew one way or the other.

We settled in, and on Tuesday, we went out for lunch with Paulina from Southerners On New Ground (SONG), an organization now based in Atlanta that works to build, connect, and sustain folks in the South who believe in liberation across all lines of race, class, culture, gender and sexuality. I have to admit, after hearing so many good things from so many people about SONG's work, I was a little starstruck at first, but once I got over my initial nerves, the conversation started flowing.

Paulina told us more about the history of SONG, we shared our plans for Sanctuary Collective, and then we got in a thought-provoking discussion about the most productive way to approach trainings and conversations around the way oppression operates and intersects with other forms of oppression within our culture. In the end, she offered to share some of the curriculum materials that SONG uses in their trainings, which I am really excited to see and digest.

After lunch, Kathy Stayton came to pick us up. She and I both attended the same church outside of Philadelphia during the 5 years I lived there, and it was so great to see her again and reconnect. Kathy is also on the council of the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists, and continues to work with them from her new location in Atlanta.

Kathy drove us to OutWrite, an LGBTQ bookstore and coffeeshop, where we browsed and talked with the staff for a while, leaving some bookmarks behind. Our next stop was the YouthPride Center - the nation's only community center devoted entirely to the wellbeing and empowerment of LGBTQ youth.

We met Paul, who gave us a tour of the center, explaining the programming along the way. I was impressed by the free mental health services they offer to youth AND their families, as well as their devotion to developing programs and resources geared toward young trans folks. They seemed to have a good ballance of structured programming and unstructured time to just hang out. The colors for the walls were chosen by the youth themselves (they were bright and welcoming), and they have an air hockey table, as well as a huge TV with a Nintendo Wii with big comfy chairs and couches set up in their lounge. For once, I wanted to be the age that people usually assume I am (around 19), so I would be able to come to Atlanta and hang out there!

After leaving some bookmarks there as well, we went back to Kathy's house, where we had dinner with Kathy, her husband Bill, Carly (our host), and Max, who is a grad student in Morehouse's Sexual Health program. Max is also on the board of Atlanta Pride.

We had delicious food, and some great discussions about everything from faith to where we grew up to the issues that trans folks face socially and politically. I left wishing I had more intergenerational interactions in my daily life. It felt really wonderful to be taken care of and to have the familial atmosphere of eating a home-cooked meal around the table with each other.

When it was time for us to move on to Columbia, Kathy came to pick us up at Carly's, and drove us the three hours northeast. After eating lunch downtown and saying our goodbyes, we settled in at a cafe with wireless internet until it was time for us to meet with Candace from Whosoever - an online magazine for LGBTQ Christians. We met for dinner (I ate a delicious burrito), and then Candace was kind enough to take us to her place to spend the night, where we did an interview for the Whosoever podcast. We'll post that link once it's up on the website, of course!

Our time in Columbia was short, but filled with overwheming generosity and hospitality. After letting us sleep in, Candace drove us up to Charlotte, where a new day and a new adventure awaits us!

Birmingham

Our amazing friends in Mississippi drove us 2/3 of the way to Birmingham to Tuscaloosa, Alabama on Thursday night after class. After saying our sad goodbyes in the Wal-Mart parking lot (and using the restroom inside and encountering some really terribly racist graffiti there), we switched cars and our new friend Steve drove us the rest of the way to Birmingham.

During the car ride, we got to know Steve - he is a former student of Samford University in Birmingham, and I heard so much of my own experience reflected in the stories he shared. He took a long time to come to terms with his own identity, because it wasn't even considered an option to be LGBTQ. This journey has challenged his faith sometimes to the point of unbelief. He's also had really rough patches with his family, but feels like it will all work out one way or the other in the end - and that even if that means the heartbreaking reality of not being accepted by them, he will find the support he needs. And many more areas of overlap that are perhaps too personal or painful to share in such a public way here. It was almost eerie. But it was great to relate in such an intense way with someone who's seemingly just passing through my life. It also reminded me how personal this journey and everything with Sanctuary Collective truly is for me.

Late that night we pulled up to Emily's apartment. She had stayed awake for us, and we stayed up a little while longer reconnecting until we were all just too sleepy to stay awake.

The next morning, Emily let me borrow her car to drive to Samford, where I met with a group of about 10 students and professors. Samford University recently changed their policy from wording that used to be similar to Mississippi College's policy to now prohibiting "sexual misconduct," which is defined as "heterosexual/homosexual intercourse, adultery, unwanted fondling and rape." Concerns about equating consensual sexual activity between consenting adults with unwanted activity aside, this is a HUGE step for a university affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention.

Samford is a university that calls their students to abstinence, and to have a policy that clearly treats instances of sexual activity the same way regardless of who the second party might be without feeling the need to single out LGB students vaguely or unfairly is a milestone.

And Samford students feel the difference. The fear to stand out as an ally or as queer may still be there, but it is social rather than institutional. My meeting with them was largely concerned with what actions they could take next to keep the dialogue about LGBTQ identity and the Christian faith moving forward. We ended the meeting with some great ideas and concrete next steps, and I left campus so excited to see what they do next.

On our last day in Birmingham we visited the Civil Rights Institute. This was my second visit - the first being two years ago with a much larger group. It was really meaningful to be able to take a much longer time watching each video and reading through each description with just the three of us who went. It all reminded me that change is possible, but that there is still so far to go and so much work to be done. It also struck me that so many of the people who took the strongest and most public stands for equality in the 1960s were young people too. May we look to those who took a stand before us for civil rights. May we learn from them, and may we continue the work of racial justice while working toward LGBTQ equality and inclusion.

Clinton, MS

On Monday our lovely hosts from Oxford drove us down to Jackson. We hung out at a local coffeeshop until our friend Jonathan could come pick us up in his truck.

Our first night at Mississippi College felt surreal at first - this is another place I've been before when I was on the Equality Ride. So the last time I was here, I was looking at the campus from the property line and could go no further. But now I was free to walk around, to eat in the cafe, to sit in the quad.

But I must confess I found myself looking over my shoulder quite a bit.

And if I felt worried or concerned, I know the queer students and their allies on campus carry that burden in their daily life as well. MC's student handbook states that "sexual impropriety" is not allowed, and suggests that this "includes but is not limited to participation in or appearance of engaging in premarital sex, extramarital sex, or homosexual activities." This really leaves one wondering what exactly a homosexual activity could be defined as by the administration.

Would I be in trouble for holding hands with someone of the same gender? For coming out to my roommate? For having a rainbow bumper sticker on my car? For simply questioning the policy as an ally?

And what would the consequences be? Would I pay a fine? Be assigned community service? Lose my scholarship? Get kicked out?

The ambiguity of this and similar policies creates an atmosphere of fear. Not having any of this defined means that students must assume they could be disciplined for anything having to do with queer identity or issues, and that the consequences could be severe. Which is the risk MC students must decide whether they are willing to take any time they engage in a conversation with someone about these things. In fact, there's even a new addition to the handbook this year that requires all flyers posted on campus to receive a literal stamp of approval by the administration after the underground Gay Straight Alliance posted flyers last spring.

In spite of all of this, however, we had some great conversations with students who are ready to take a calculated stand with our help.

Late Tuesday night, some of those students joined us as we chalked messages all over campus - taking the acronym LGBT and adding our own twist with words like "Loving Giving Believing Trusting" and then including the Sanctuary Collective website url underneath. We figured this would get the attention of anyone who knew what the acronym usually stood for, while being ambiguous enough to not raise the alarm to folks who aren't in the know. On the front page of our website here, we posted a time and place to meet off campus on Wednesday evening.

Once Wednesday rolled around, we met at Cliff Johnson's house - a lawyer and MC alum who opens his home for a safe place for MC students to meet. Students and supporters from the Jackson area joined us as we talked about how Sanctuary Collective might be able to support their efforts, and how the local organizations might also be able to lend a hand. I know I left the meeting energized and excited to see what happens next at MC, and I think the others who were there were feeling that too.

I really can't wait until we have our first class for our Discipleship Program, and I certainly hope to see some applications from Mississippi College students! Let's do this, friends.

Oxford

On Friday afternoon, our friends Reverend Tim and Sonia from Holy Trinity in Memphis drove us down to Oxford.

We met our host Anjel on campus at Ole Miss, and soon were introduced to Gail Stratton, a biology professor who sponsors the Gay-Straight Alliance on campus. We sat in her office and talked about our trip so far. It was great to sit down and reflect on everything we've experienced thus far.

After a while, Anjel's boyfriend Puppy came to pick us up, and we went back to their place to relax for a little while before heading out to meet with some folks from the GSA.

The Oxford PFLAG donated some pizzas for us to eat as we talked, and the topics of our conversation ranged from the serious to the hilarious. We talked about ex-gay programs, coming out to our families, the importance of faith-based organizing, gender, school, graphic novels, and almost everything else imaginable. We talked for hours. Afterwards, we were enjoying each other's company so much we decided to go on an impromptu roadtrip of sorts to Graceland Too.

Graceland Too is one man's exhaustive collection of Elvis memorabilia, which he displays in his house in Holly Springs, MS. Patrons can visit any hour of the day or night, and he will give a tour of his floor to ceiling (and including the ceiling) accumulation of records, collector's cards, cardboard cut-outs, and items that reportedly once belonged to Elvis. We were sadly unable to film inside the house, but I can promise you - it was quite an experience.

On Saturday, we met Jason, who studies spiders at Ole Miss (that is probably a massive oversimplification), and Puppy cooked some delicious brocolli alfredo for all of us. After dinner, we took a walk to William Faulkner's house, which is right in Oxford. It was cool to see the property at night under a full moon.

Sunday morning we went to the Unitarian Universalist congregation and met with the lovely folks there. They were supportive and kind, and we enjoyed our time there.

In the evening, we hung out with two of the folks from the GSA again. We went out for Mexican food, and then went back to their place for more conversation and hanging out. They were also really excited to connect with the other folks we're going to meet along our route to share resources. It was a great way to end our time in Oxford, and I'm really looking forward to staying in touch with all the wonderful people we met.

Mississippi College?

Are you here from MC?

Take a look around, and if you'd like to meet with Micah and Roman face to face, come meet us on Wednesday October 7th at 7:50 pm at the CUPS parking lot.

We'll go to a comfortable place to talk and hang out from there.

While you're here on the site, check out our getting started section on our front page. You might also want to check out the other entries on our blog. And since it's always great to put a face to names, check out our page on who's behind all this. Spend some time, do some research, poke around - that's why we've got the site up, after all!

And as always, feel free to contact us: info@sanctuarycollective.org, or 646-571-8266.

We'd love to meet you, to talk about where we're all coming from, and to hear your story. Hope we get to see you!

Memphis

There's so much I'm taking away from Memphis.

We set out on Tuesday morning from Little Rock, without a ride. For the first time ever, I hitchhiked. I knew that might be a possibility for this trip at some point, so like the nerdy kid I am, I had done some extensive googling for tips and safety. We got a lift from Patrick, who drives an 18-wheeler. During the two hour trip, we talked about cars, girlfriends, and what it was like to be a truck driver. Patrick is from Ontario, and his route takes him all the way down to the Texas/Mexico border delivering hazardous materials. He was heading back to Canada when he picked us up, and he dropped us off at the second exit ramp once we crossed the Mississippi River.

Once we got into the city and had some other adventures involving not knowing which bus to take, and finding ourselves having some intense interactions outside the city jail, we ended up at our destination: the Pilgrim House - a hostel run by First Congregational Church. We met the amazing folks who work there, including Jen, who has the reference Micah 6:8 tattooed on her foot (for those not in the know, I have "do justice" on my wrist, "love mercy" on my chest, and "walk humbly" on my foot)!

At Pilgrim House, the fee to stay there is fairly nominal, and guests complete daily chores as part of their stay. I am a fan of that arrangement! I will gladly sweep the floor in exchange for a $15 sleep on a bed with a mattress and pillows and sheets and blankets. If you're ever traveling through Memphis, I definitely recommend Pilgrim House.

On Wednesday, we slept in and had an early lunch with Reverend Tim and Sonia from Holy Trinity Community Church. They took us to a place with barbecue tofu so Roman could experience Memphis barbecue without compromising his vegetarian diet, and then Reverend Tim played the role of tour guide for the rest of our afternoon. Our first stop was one of the churches that used to house Love in Action (WARNING: not a friendly site!), a residential ex-gay program that our friend Peterson survived going through. A new congregation uses the building now, and they have erected a gigantic replica of the statue of liberty - only instead of a torch, she holds a cross, and her base is inscribed with "America Return to Christ." This struck me as unsettling both as a citizen of the U.S. and as a Christian. I would much rather keep politics out of my worship, and vice versa.

We dropped Sonia back off at Holy Trinity, and then we took a trip to the Lorraine Motel, where Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot on April 4, 1968. While we were there, we met Jackie, who was the last resident of the motel before they changed it from low-income housing into a museum. Jackie has stayed put for almost 22 years - speaking to people about the legacy of Dr. King, and keeping an everlasting vigil, asking why the very people King dedicated his life to serving are now being displaced by this museum. After an involved conversation about her convictions, I asked her if she would mind us taking her picture for our blog. She asked what the site was about, and I told her. Her take on the LGBTQ movement as an outsider was that we should not try to set ourselves apart from everyone else by labeling ourselves, and that we should give back to the community first and foremost. I usually engage people in dialogue about why I might disagree, but I decided to swallow my quick response, to recognize the places where our views overlap, and to allow myself to sit with her perspective.

In fact, I agree with Jackie in this: the LGBTQ community has hurt ourselves by breaking away from our roots. In the beginning, the movement for LGBTQ equality was concerned with the rights of other oppressed people groups in our society. Our philosophical foremothers joined forces with other movements, but looking at us today you might never know. We've become so fragmented, so concerned with being accepted that those of us who don't fit the mold of what society finds nonthreatening watch the things that concern us drop off the to-do list, and the movement becomes about the needs and desires of the few of us who do fit the standard American mainstream but for the oh so small fact that we are attracted to folks of the same gender. Giving back to the rest of the community in tangible ways - making human connections - would do a great deal more for the public opinion of our community than choosing a face to represent us that someone somewhere thinks the rest of America will be able to relate to.

But here's where I disagree: as a transgender man, I don't set myself apart from everyone by labeling myself. I've already been set apart, and not by my choosing. My friends and comrades have been kicked out of their homes, fired from their jobs, rejected by their families, and ripped out of fellowship because of who they are. By claiming the label of transgender, and wearing it openly wherever I feel safe enough to do so, I'm not asking for anything special. I simply want what we all want - to be treated fairly, with dignity and respect. By claiming that label, I'm asserting that if I make people uncomfortable, it is because they must work through their own biases, assumptions, and beliefs in order to reconcile the idea that a person they think they should reject reads comic books, laughs a little too loudly, and loves Jesus.

Jackie didn't end up letting us take her picture, which is fine. I gave her our website, and I am trusting that as someone who's concerned with social justice, she'll sit with our conversation as well. I know I've been mulling it all over since then, and I'll continue to do so.

We also spent some time at the Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center, which was fairly close to the Pilgrim House. We met some of the youth there, spent some time talking with the volunteers and the executive director, as well as a group that meets and discusses Christian issues for the LGBT community. Recently the Memphis Center has made the news because one of their billboards in Memphis has been defaced.

On Wednesday and Thursday nights, we hung out at Dru's Place, a new bar in Memphis owned by two of the members of Holy Trinity. They were wonderful and welcoming, and bought us drinks and food, and offered to set out a place to take donations for us. We also had some really interesting conversations about what it means to be transgender. I'm not sure if it's easier or harder to have that conversation after all the parties involved have had a couple of drinks. As we were getting ready to leave, though, Dru (who the bar is named after, of course) gave me a leather bracelet. In the center, there are the bones of a fish. She told me she wanted me to have it because it was a "naked Jesus fish," and I am baring myself and making myself vulnerable to the world because of my faith.

I'll keep wearing the bracelet, and keep remembering the amazing people and conversations we encountered in Memphis.

Little Rock

We met so many fantastic people in Little Rock.

Our adventures began before we even left Dallas - as we were waiting at the Greyhound station, we met some really interesting people. One person was on their way to Tyler, Texas to work at a fair. He was traveling with only a broom and dustpan. And about halfway through our trip, two plainclothes police officers came on board and took someone off the bus. They cut open the passenger's pillow, and pulled out a large package of what looked like cocaine. I could not imagine being that person in that moment - knowing there was no turning back. After we made it to Little Rock, our friend Penelope picked us up from the station.

After relaxing for a while, we headed out to a dinner Center for Artistic Revolution was hosting in support of two women who had been harassed and physically assaulted by a sheriff's deputy. CAR is helping to raise the funds to pay the couple's legal fees as they file an action for civil rights violation. After the dinner we got to speak to the women for a while, and also met some cool young folks who live in Little Rock and participate in CAR's Diverse Youth for Social Change program.

We spent Saturday catching our breath and hanging out with Penelope, Jeremy, and some new friends. There was a Chili cook-off, a great cafe called The House, and hanging out down by the Arkansas River.

On Sunday we went to New Beginnings Church (after going to New Beginning Church without the "s" and realizing we were in the wrong place!), and shared the mission of Sanctuary Collective, and I sang a song and played guitar. I chose "If We Are the Body" by Casting Crowns, because I love how the chorus describes very practical ways the church can embody Christ in the world. You can see a video of the performance on Facebook. The congregation was wonderful and welcoming, and had set up a jar in the back of the sanctuary to collect donations for us.

They also took us out to lunch afterwards, where we found out that Wincie and Becky, a couple who has been together for more than 30 years, are traveling to Iowa this week to finally make it official! They will travel back home with a marriage certificate. Becky said she never thought she would see the day that she'd be able to marry the person she loves.

On Monday, we got to meet with Randi from CAR for a much longer conversation than we had been able to have while the dinner was going on on Friday. She shared with us the history and structure of CAR. The focus they have on addressing multiple forms of oppression through their work with the LGBTQ community is an exciting model, and we are looking forward to keeping in touch as both organizations grow and develop.

As we travel, it's so interesting to see how every location has its own distinct personality. And everything is happening so fast that by the time I get to write about one stop, there's so much to say about the next place already. I want to record everything I can so that we can remember the stories and support we have gotten, and the things we have learned along the way.

Dallas

We've settled in at our friend Penelope's house in Little Rock, so now seems like a great time to write about our time in Dallas before the memories get replaced with too many fresh new ones!

On Wednesday, we said goodbye to our friends in Waco, and Tyler drove us up to Dallas. We hung out at Panera until our host Phil could come pick us up to go to church at Royal Lane Baptist for the Wednesday night service. We enjoyed the dinner together, and got the chance to stand up and let folks know what we're up to. After the service, there were many folks who made it a point to wish us luck, and then Kelley drove us to their house.

On Thursday morning, another member of the church, Leslie, drove us to Southern Methodist University, where we met up with Aaron. We got to attend a class on Gender and Globalization, where the day's topic of conversation was women in the fast food work force. It was really interesting to discuss the evolution of fast food work to the point where creativity is in fact discouraged so that workers can be uniform and easily replaceable.

After class, we went back to the Multicultural House, where Aaron lives, and he made us delicious vegan pasta salad for lunch before we headed over to the Canterbury House, the Episcopal chapel at SMU. While we worked there (thanks for the snacks and free wifi!), I had a great conversation with Reverend Nate about his own personal intellectual journey to being fully affirming of LGBTQ people. He talked about the history of the church, and the way the church's stance on many things has evolved over time. I always enjoy conversations that get me thinking about my own faith and how and where it fits and relates to the long story of the church.

At six o'clock, it was time for Spectrum, the LGBTQ and Allies group on campus. We spoke there about why working for the full inclusion of LGBTQ people within the Christian faith is so important, some important things to remember as we dive in, and some things that have been helpful when working in that context. It was marvelous to meet the students at Spectrum, and I'm looking forward to keeping our conversations going over email!

When we wrapped up there, we were invited to a Hare Krishna meeting. Curious, I decided to go. They served us really delicious Indian food, and the topic of conversation was how we relate to each other's physical bodies in regard to what seems to set us apart. It was interesting to see a lot of overlap between the way folks at the meeting were speaking about the distinction between the physical and internal selves and the way Christians see the distinction between body and soul.

After our evening meetings were complete, we got to hang out more with Aaron, Kai, and Jaxon for our last night. We met Jaxon's super cute puppies, and then we had to say our goodbyes.

Our bus pulled out of Dallas at 7:45 am the next morning, and we continued on our way to Little Rock. We will carry our conversations and connections with us as we travel.

Baylor University

My Personal Connection to Baylor

Yesterday was our first full day in Waco, and the experience has got me feeling pretty reflective.

The first time I was here was 2 1/2 years ago, when I came through on the 2007 Equality Ride. We were here because there used to be an underground gay-straight alliance at Baylor. They used to chalk (like many other student organizations) when and where their meetings would be, and the administration would quickly have someone come behind them with a hose to wash their messages away. Read more about Baylor Freedom here.

We spent our first day on campus talking with students, and then on our second day we decided we would pay tribute to those brave students, and chalk affirming messages on the ground in front of the chapel. From out of nowhere, plainclothes police descended, asking us to stop. Some of us had decided that morning that if it came down to it, we would be willing to participate in civil disobedience. I was one of those people.

At first, the officer who asked me to stop would not tell me if he was placing me under arrest. I asked several times - since they are required to give you a warning - and he would not answer. Finally, he said yes, and interrupted my message, "Jesus loves LGBTQ people" - stopping me at "Jesus loves LG-". He squeezed metal handcuffs over my wrists - my hands still holding my piece of chalk - and he and the other officers lined us up facing the chapel. See the article the Baylor student newspaper published about it here.

They led us to the paddywagon, and drove us to jail. What followed was over 24 hours of confusion and fear that opened my eyes for the first time to the injustices that can exist within the U.S. justice system. I grew up carrying my privilege without realizing it. I had never had to be afraid of police officers before, but after my experience there I had caught a glimpse of how cruel people can be when they are given power over the powerless.

For writing about God's love in temporary sidewalk chalk on a Christian campus, they stripped us of our clothes. They cavity searched us, and submitted the female-bodied people among us to even more humiliating experiences that I find it hard to talk about, even today. They handed us black and white striped jumpsuits and plastic shoes. Locked us in a cell together until they processed us 12 hours later at 2 am. Then locked us 2 to a cell until 11 am, when they pulled us out to finally read us our Miranda Rights. They set our bail at an impossible $2000 per person, then marched us back to our cells where we could only wait with no sense of how much time was passing, until our other Riders could post our bail and we could be released.

What I experienced was limited to only just over a day. I can not even imagine spending any more time feeling so disempowered, so scared, so alone. Who do I know in my daily life that could spend $2000 right away to rescue me? If I was so shaken after such a short period of time, how does our system "rehabilitate" those who have broken the law? How can those people possibly reintigrate to their daily lives after spending extended time in such a place?

Where does the stand I took on that day leave Baylor almost 3 years later?

Has there been any long-lasting effect?

I've been spending time at Common Grounds while we're here (still here with my Phillies hat writing this blog!), and students have been stopping by to speak with us. There's a sense of defeat about how large the task at hand truly is - the student handbook policies are growing progressively more specific and more strict, not only including condemnation of "homosexual acts" in comparison to "sexual abuse, sexual harassment, sexual assault, incest, adultery, and fornication" but also banning any student groups that the administration disagrees with, and new policies that sound specific to transgender students who are transitioning (referring to students "changing their appearance so as to become unrecognizable"), which is unusual for a Christian university. Students speculate that this most recent amendment may have been written in response to the increasing publicity of one of their former students, Allyson, who now works for the Human Rights Campaign.

But in the midst of such a heavy task, there is still a sense of hope. More than that, there is a sense of feistiness and creativity. Yesterday during my time at Common Grounds, I spoke with students about the plans they have and the steps they're taking (I hesitate to post them publicly here, but I'm excited for Sanctuary Collective to support them!). I also learned that the time I spent here and our willingness to take such a public stand has turned into a part of Baylor students' own narrative - a starting point for questioning policies, a conversation starter, a reminder that this work needs to be done, even when it seems impossible.

These students volunteered to be photographed for our blog so that other young people reading could see their faces and know that they are not the only ones concerned for the inclusiveness of Christian communities.

Sanctuary Collective is for you. For the person wondering how to reach LGBTQ people when they are unable to do anything publicly. For the person sitting in their congregation hearing their pastor unknowingly condemn them. For the first-year student unwilling to spend four years under a policy that hurts their friends. For the person who recognizes the worth in the fellowship they find at their Bible study, but cringes at comments and jokes that are made. None of you are alone. We are all in this together.

Let's do this.

Wrapping up in Austin

On our last night in Austin, I went with Cait to see our friends Jessie and Reid from the 2006 Equality Ride perform in a show. The show was marvelous, and even though the sound system cut out halfway through the second song, the performers were flexible and did some creative improvising until a solution could be found. The audience was also amazing, and it was a really fun way to end our time in Austin.

We got up early the next morning to pick up Andi and Asher and drive up to Waco to speak at Central Texas MCC (video to come soon!). The folks at the MCC were so welcoming, and provided some fruit for our breakfast, and coffee for the coffee drinkers among our caravan. Some students from Baylor came to the service as well. It's always fun to meet people face to face who you've only been communicating with over the phone and email. I'm looking forward to hanging out with them more while we're in Waco.

One student in particular came up to speak to me, and shared how one of her parents had come out while she was in high school, and what a difficult time that had been for her family. The student affirmed that she knew it was all for the best, and that things were very positive now. It's wonderful to hear people's stories. It reminds me of why we do this work.

We hung out for a little while after the service, and then Jesse (our gracious host in Waco) drove us up for Dallas Pride! We already know some folks in Dallas, since that's our next stop, so we got to hang out with them earlier than we thought we would. It was a marvelous afternoon.

After the festivities and a trip to Panera full of fun conversation, we headed back to Waco, exhausted from our traveling and hanging out in the sun.

During our time in Waco, we are spending a lot of time at Common Grounds - right near Baylor's campus. If you're in the area, stop by! I'll be wearing my Phillies hat, and probably typing away on my laptop. If you'd rather schedule some time, you can call me at 646-571-8266

Our First stop

Roman and I flew out of Laguardia at 8 am on Thursday - our backpacks filled to capacity with the clothes we're going to be wearing for the next 7 weeks, and the supplies we're going to need to get the word out as we travel.

Our lovely friend Cait picked us up from the airport in Austin. She was on the phone interviewing an applicant for the 2010 Equality Ride at first, but once that was over, we got to be excited about seeing each other. Cait just moved to Austin to work for Soulforce, and after some delicious fajitas at Magnolia's Cafe, we met up with Andi and Asher to sit together and do work on our laptops. Roman fell dead asleep almost as soon as we sat down!

Later that night, we went to Andi's house to celebrate Rosh Hashanah. There were delicious apples and honey, and we got to have some great conversations.

I met Candace and Phoenix, and we talked about our experiences and frustrations with times others have expected us to choose one of our identities over the rest. Both of them seemed excited to talk more about what supporting Sanctuary Collective might look like for them (and if either of you are reading this, send me that email!).

We're looking forward to the rest of our time in Austin, and excited to travel up to Waco on Sunday!

On the road!

Roman and I have officially begun our journey - and our first stop is Austin, Texas! We're excited to meet up with our friends at Soulforce while we're in town, and to meet up with you if you're in the area as well. Send us an email, we'll be in town til the 19th.

Check out my video here as I talk about how excited I am:

Roman made one too so keep an eye out for his. And if you're interested in knowing more, or helping us out along the way, here's some more info about why we're doing this, and what we'll need:

Here are our goals for this trip:

- Recruit potential participants for our Discipleship Program
- Hear and document your stories to share with others on our website
- Gather financial support
- Enroll people to serve on our Support Team

At every place we go, we will need:

We'd love to hear from you - leave a comment here, send us an email, or give us a call!